抄心經的機緣, 熟讀到釋義求惑之路

By: Grace Lee

有所求

中年以後, 日常生活裡逐漸有感自己常有情緒起伏, 時有無明的焦躁不耐或對周邊親近的人(尤其是老公) 易有火氣…….., 傷人傷己, 事後則懊惱不已!

隨著年紀增長, 越來越能領悟或體會內心平靜祥和的快樂遠比外在的刺激如大口吃美食穿華服或馬不停蹄的旅遊…. 等等訴諸於外的滿足來的平穩持久且令人回味!

夜深人靜時也反問自己, 試著理出頭緒, 尋找能讓自己心安住穩定下來的方法.

抄心經的機緣

l   第一次有較深的印象是去年底拜訪一位事業有成好朋友的公司, 聊天中得知他每日手抄心經已有多時! 知道縱使事業如日中天的人也是有抄經文的需求;

l   第二次也是去年底陪同大陸高幹的遺孀伍大姊參訪佛陀紀念館, 談及她因先生工作緣故, 足跡遍佈世界各國, 吃盡山珍海味, 近年則潛心學佛而自感獲益良多, 隨身帶著佛書去旅行. 她分享她自身經驗教我有空常念經文或釋迦本師南無阿彌陀佛來修心養性. 

l   年底到大順牙科做植牙動手術時, 全身肌肉僵硬, 心情緊張不安! 冥冥中記起伍大姊的話當下默念釋迦本師南無阿彌陀佛,  真的有安頓我心的神奇療效.

l   兩個月前跟同事好友爬柴山, 下山時看見同事在入口處拿了好多本與人結緣的心經手抄本, 順手跟她要一本準備回家抄抄看

l   事後知道摯友慧媛和偉麗早就因不同因緣訴求而抄寫心經多時了………

這時才恍然頓悟其實有此需求, 同時付之行動的, 早已大有人在啊!

抄心經的體認

l   從去年十二月中開始設定每日抄一篇並默誦經文幾遍, 一開始專注在一筆一畫工整筆跡, 一字一字的照本宣科看著抄寫, 試著培養耐性及定力, 但縱使如此簡單抄寫, 其中仍常有錯字. 用螢光筆一一挑出錯字訂正, 日後慢慢自我要求到如有錯字則全篇重抄

l   抄經不應只抄形而不知其意, 花了幾天時間上網聽釋, 聽法鼓山聖嚴法師開示心經, 試著裡解內容本意, 再試著默記, 一遍又一遍有空隨時就覆誦

l   養成習慣早上梳洗後定時書桌前報到抄寫心經至今朝三個月邁進.  在每日抄寫過程中, 突然有一天察覺不必看原文就能正確抄寫完畢, 那種喜悅, 真讓人雀躍不已.

蔣勳在他的書 【捨得 捨不得】中寫道 [ 一件簡單的事, 做起來不難, 可以日復一日, 成為每一天例行的公式, 每天做, 卻不覺得厭煩, 繁瑣. 每一天做, 都有新的領悟, 每一天都歡喜去做, 會不會就是修行的本質??] 這一段話簡單扼要道出我的目前心境.  

或早或晚, 或快或遲, 相信每一個人都會要竭盡所能找到讓自己心安的方式, 縱使方法不同, 能心安就好.   

抄了近百篇, 理解到抄經文, 讀經文其實不難, 但能在生活裡實踐落實, 真是大不易啊!!!

心經告訴我們人性本空, 要心無罣礙, 不恐不懼, 意思很簡單易懂, 但當我一離開經文, 回歸生活, 任何風吹草動, 親友病痛, 遺失東西, 夫妻口角, 飛機空難, 天災人禍….. 都讓我們驚慌, 沮喪絕望!   因此了解之所以要一遍一遍抄, 一次一次讀是要時時提醒自己, 生命的本質及努力修心的方向為和!

從有機緣抄心經到背熟對自己是有了好的開始, 至於更進一步從釋義到漫漫實踐之路, 更要提醒自己, 時時精進莫常起無明, 修己度人為要. 

當作2015年【心】的開始, 讓【身】【心】都活在當下吧 ! 自許

如何說話才能讓別人樂意傾聽

2015.1.29 

最近讀了一小篇英文短文, 如何說話才能讓別人樂意傾聽 (How to speak so people listen), 深有同感!   日常生活裡, 說話溝通, 時時發生, 人人會說, 但聽起來的效果卻往往因說的人不同而有截然不同的結果!

摘記作者歸納的幾點 Do & Don't 來分享大家:

我們說話時, 一不小心就容易陷入下列的七大惡習 (7 Sins) 而不自覺, 事倍功半讓溝通失效:

1.          背後長舌說人閒話        (Gossip)

2.          妄下評斷論定是非        (Judging)

3.          凡事負面說詞               (Negativity)

4.          習慣發牢騷怨天怨地    (Complain)

5.          找藉口為自己辯解        (Excuse)

6.          講誇大不實的謊言        (Lying)

7.          獨斷頑固堅持己見        (Dogmatism)

要時時提醒, 檢視自己, 是不是有上述的不良習氣讓說話【有溝無通】而使人際關係疏離!

牢記 四大基石 (HAIL) 來強化自己說話的效力:

H=Honesty          誠信以對,   說【實話】是最好的講話方式

A=Authenticity     真實自我, 【做自己】是最佳的表達方式

I=Integrity            廉潔以對, 【說跟做一致】是最棒的驗證方式

L=Love                利他為上, 【心存良意與人為善】是最高說話的指導原則

要快樂其實很簡單 ( The Surprising Science of Happiness)

By Dan Gilbert, Harvard psychologist 

Reading notes of The Surprising Science of Happiness:

In 2M-years the human brain has nearly tripled the size. (二百萬年的時間，人的腦體積增加了將近3倍)  Human gains new structures called the "frontal lobe." particularly, the "pre-frontal cortex’ and what does it do for us to justify the 2M year’s evolutionary time? (人類新增了一個稱為「額葉」的結構，尤其是「前額葉皮質」的部分, 究竟前額葉皮質有什麼功能可以在兩百年間，完成人類的進化過程？)

• The most important things the pre-frontal cortex does could be an Experience Simulator. (前額葉皮質其中最重要的一項功能是【經驗模擬器】)  
• Let's try our experience simulators and see which one we prefer ?  The Lottery winner or a Paraplegic ? (什麼是經驗模擬器? 舉個例, 樂透得主跟下半身麻痺癱瘓的人, 你喜歡那一個? 我們不必親身經歷二者, 也能透由我們腦中的經驗模擬器做出選擇). 
• Interestingly, there are data to show how happy they are.  The fact is that a year after losing the use of their legs, and a year after winning the lotto, both are equally happy with their lives. (有趣的是根據實驗數據,不管是失去雙腿的癱瘓人或樂透得主, 在一年後, 他們兩者對生活感到一樣快樂!)

• The research that the lab to the economists and psychologists have been doing, have revealed something startling to us, something we call the "impact bias" which is the tendency for the simulator to make you believe that different outcomes are more different than in fact they really are. (不管是實驗室對全國經濟學家做的研究或心理學家所做的研究報告, 都得出一令人吃驚意外的結論, 稱之為【預測的偏差】 這是指模擬器出錯的狀況 它預測不同未來的差異遠比實際的差異還要大

• From field to lab studies,  it shows how major life traumas affect people suggests that if it happened over three months ago, with only a few exceptions, it has no impact on our happiness. Why?? Because happiness can be synthesized. (從現場實地研究到實驗室研究 , 大都顯示任何人生重大創傷困境等等對人生造成的影響 只有少數例外, 在事件發生超過3個月後, 它對人生幸福快樂並沒有任何影響.  為什麼? 因為快樂幸福是可以合成的!)

• Human beings have something that we might think of as a "psychological immune system" The unconscious cognitive process that help to change our views of the world, so that we can feel better about the worlds in which we find ourselves (每個人都有一種我們稱之為 [心理的免疫系統] 這種免疫系統是下意識的認知轉換過程, 它能有效幫助我們改變思考想法來看這個世界, 讓我們心靈優化對真實世界的感覺!

• We synthesize happiness, though most of us believe that synthetic happiness is not of the same quality as "natural happiness." And the psychological immune system works best when we are totally stuck, when we are trapped. (我們合成快樂, 雖然我們堅信合成快樂的質量跟自然快樂是不一樣的! 但要知道我們的心理免疫系統 在我們不能改變的情況下能達到最佳成效)

1. Natural happiness is what we get when we get what we wanted, the ability to make up your mind and change your mind -- is the friend of natural happiness. (自然快樂是我們得到心理所想要的東西那種真快樂, 同時擁有全然的決定權和隨時改變選擇的能力才是自然快樂的真諦)
2. Synthetic happiness is what we make when we don't get what we wanted and in our society, we have a strong belief that synthetic happiness is of an inferior kind and freedom to choose -- to change and make up your mind -- is the enemy of synthetic happiness. (合成快樂是我們得不到想要的東西時，改變自己想法來調整的快樂, 在我們的社會，我們堅信 合成快樂是比較差的一種,  同時要知道全然的自由狀態去做決定或改變是合成快樂的天敵) 

• We should have preferences that lead us into one future over another. But when those preferences drive us too hard and too fast because we have overrated the difference between these futures, we are at risk. When our ambition is bounded, it leads us to work joyfully. When our ambition is unbounded, it leads us to lie, to cheat, to steal, to hurt others, to sacrifice things of real value. When our fears are bounded, we're prudent; we're cautious; we're thoughtful. When our fears are unbounded and overblown, we're reckless, and we're cowardly. (我們當然應該用自己的喜好去選擇一個適合自己的未來.  但當這些偏好過度強硬或過急的來驅使我們,  又因為我們錯估未來選擇的差異天性時, 我們便處於危險的判斷.  當我們的野心有範圍標的，我們能高興地朝方向前進, 當我們的野心無限延伸, 我們會說謊、欺騙、偷竊、甚至傷害他人 犧牲掉真正人生有價值的東西。當我們的恐懼有界線,  我們會處事謹慎熟慮, 當我們的恐懼無限上綱, 我們會變得魯莽、怯懦且退縮)

The lesson I want to leave you with is that our longings and our worries are both to some degree overblown, because we have within us the capacity to manufacture the very commodity we are constantly chasing when we choose experience. (這演講中我們能學到的是  我們往往太過於放大我們的渴望和憂慮,  其實我們已經有與生俱來的種種選擇能力去製造我們窮其一生不段追求的東西了) 

如何讓人生[第三幕]活出精采與意義 (Life's 3rd Act)

聽到珍芳達2011的演講, Life's 3rd Act !  深有同感, 特摘要備忘.
如何讓大家比上一個世紀平均多出34年的人生歲月賦予新生命與意義, 值得思考. 

老要老的不虛此生 (婆88歲生日)

摘要如下:

• Longevity is one of the most significant revolution in last century, average today 34 years longer than our great-grandparents did. (長壽是二十世紀最顯著的革命之一, 今天人類的壽命比我們的曾祖父時代平均多出34年)

• And yet, We're still living with the old paradigm of age as an arch. That's the old  metaphor to see Age as pathology. (壽命是延長了, 可是我們仍活在舊思維, 慣於用刻板病理現象來看待老年) 

• Today researcher is taking a new look at the so-called "third act", the last three decades of life. (在二十一世紀的今天, 所有研究結果都指向用新思維來看待老年, Jane 稱之為 [人生的第三幕]

• One third (1/3) of our 3rd act depends on genetic, and two-thirds (2/3) of how well we do to make these added years really successful and different. (人生第三幕是否成功, 有三方之一基因好壞決定, 三分之二就端看我們如何運用增長的歲月來讓我們人生成功圓滿與眾不同)

• Jane Fonda suggested a more appropriate metaphor for aging is a staircase -- the upward ascension of the human spirit, bringing us into wisdom, wholeness and authenticity  (珍芳達提出一個較切合時宜的隱喻來看待我們延長的[第三幕], 她稱為[樓梯式的發展], 透過人的心靈成長活動, 像爬樓梯式的不斷向上提升,近而帶我們進入一個真實, 充滿智慧又圓滿的人生)

• This staircase, upward ascension can happen even in the face of extreme physical challenges even. (這樓梯透由心靈向上成長的模式對生理嚴重受限的人依然適用)
• the example: a man named Neil Selinger -- 57 years old, a retired lawyer.  He was diagnosed with ALS,  a terrible disease to waste the body, but the mind remains intact.  Mr. Selinger wrote the following to describe what was happening to him (舉個例子, Neil 先生, 57歲, 一個退休律師.  他被診斷出得了ALS (俗稱漸凍人)的可怕不癒疾病, 身體被廢棄但心靈完好.  他書寫描訴他的體驗感受如下:)

As my muscles weakened, my writing became stronger. (當我肌肉變的衰弱, 我的文筆卻變的強壯有力)

As I slowly lost my speech, I gained my voice. (當我逐漸失去聲音, 我卻得到表達文思)

As I diminished, I grew.(當我身形削減, 我卻感到心靈成長豐腴)

As I lost so much, I finally started to find myself."  (當我幾乎失去所有, 我終於找到自我)

• Jane had gone through the process as called by psychologists "doing a life review."   It can give new significance, clarity and meaning to a person's life. (珍芳達親身經歷了一段心理學家大力推崇的[人生回顧]歷程, 透由它可帶給我們一個全新重大的澄清定位使人生有意義) 

• A book called "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, a German psychiatrist who'd spent five years in a Nazi concentration camp.  And he wrote this: "Everything you have in life can be taken from you except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.  What determines our quality of life is how we relate to these realities, what kind of meaning we assign them, what kind of attitude we cling to about them, what state of mind we allow them to trigger." (一本名為[找尋人生意義]的書, 作者是Viktor Frankl, 德國心理學家, 曾有五年時間在納粹集中營度過, 在他的書中他寫道: 人生活品質高低取決於我們對周遭發生的事物, 我們涉入的態度, 對事情的看法詮釋, , 和心性的修練, 外在事物影響我們的比重等等有關) 

• Perhaps the central purpose of the third act is to go back and to try to change our relationship to the past.  Cognitive research shows when we are able to do this, it manifests neurologically.  If you over time reacted negatively to past events and people, neural pathways are laid down by chemical and electrical signals that are sent through the brain. And over time, these neural pathways become hardwired, they become the norm -- even if it's bad for us because it causes us stress and anxiety. (或許[人生第三幕]的主要目的就是要我們回到過去,  並試著去改變自己與過去的關係, 這認知改變的確可行, 並在許多有關的神經學研究結果中證實.  如果我們對過去發生的事或人一而再的抱著負面的看法, 這想法就會透過神經通路不斷傳遞負面訊號給大腦, 幾次下來, 負向思維就會透由神經系統變成主流標準, 長期下來會讓我們感到壓力與焦慮)

• If however, we can go back and alter our relationship, re-vision our relationship to past people and events, neural pathways can change. And if we can maintain the more positive feelings about the past,that becomes the new norm.  It's not having experiences that make us wise, it's reflecting on the experiences that we've had that makes us wise -- and that helps us become whole, brings wisdom and authenticity.  (反之, 如果我們可以回到過去並改變改善自己與過去的人或事的關係, 抱著正面肯定的態度, 這能量一樣會透過神經通路不斷傳遞正面訊號給大腦, 幾次下來, 正向思維就會透由神經系統變成主流標準, 經歷事情本身並不會讓我們變得有智慧, , 是我們對經歷事情的反省學習讓我們睿智, 是這樣的認知帶我們進入一個真實, 充滿智慧又圓滿的人生)

"Am I dying?" 如何誠實地回答 [我是不是快死了?] 這問題

TED speaker (July 2014) 

Matthew O’Reilly is a veteran emergency medical technician in New York. In this talk, he describes what happens next when a gravely hurt patient asks him: “Am I going to die?” As a first responder in a number of grave incidents in the past 7 years, he frequently saw people death and here he shared with us what is his finding/learning of people reaction while they have minutes left to die.

(Matthew O’Reilly在紐約長島一間醫院服務, 從事緊急災難事故現場的第一線醫護救援工作.  在過去七年中, 因他的工作性質, 他常常被事故現場傷勢十分嚴重的病人問同一個問題　[我是不是快死了？] Matthew分享我們他如何面對和從瀕臨死亡病人身上得到的反應及啟示)

 

Speaker Notes

Throughout his career, he has responded to a number of incidents where the patient had minutes left to live and there was nothing he can do for them. With this, he was faced the dilemma:  Should he tell the dying that they are about to face death? Or should he lie to them to comfort them? (在眾多意外事故當中, Matthew常會碰到傷勢十分嚴重, 任何緊急救援已無效,隨時可能死亡的病人. 這時他常陷入兩難, 是說實話告訴病人他死定了, 或說謊安慰他們呢？)

Early in his career, Matthew chose to lie because he was afraid if he told those gravely hurt people the truth that they would die in terror or in fear for those last moments of life.（在早先時, Matthew決定說善意的謊言以免那些垂死的病人在生命最後幾分鐘, 處於極恐懼害怕中離世） 

However that all changed with one incident.  5 years ago, he responded to a motorcycle accident where the rider had suffered critical injuries and there was nothing Matthew could be done for him, and like so many other cases, the rider looked at him and asked that question: "Am I going to die?" In that moment, he decided to tell him the truth. Matthew was shocked by this dying people’s reaction, he simply laid back and had a look of inner peace and acceptance on his face.  There is no such big terror or fear that he thought would be since long and from that moment forward, he decided not to comfort the dying people with lies. (五年前的一個個案改變了一切.  一個嚴重車禍導致傷勢不治, 即將死亡的騎士問他這個一再被提及的問題 [我是不是快死了？] 在那當下, 我決定據實以告, 出乎意料的, 這垂死病人聽噩耗後只是身子往後躺, 但臉上看起來是平和地接受這個事實. 長久以來他以為病人聽實話後恐懼害怕的反應並沒發生, 從此他決定不再說善意的謊言來欺騙瀕死的人.) 

Having responded to many cases, Matthew found almost every case, they all had the same reaction to the truth, the inner peace and acceptance of their last moments. Furthermore, Matthew observed & concluded three (3) patterns in all these cases: (從此以後, 他發現幾乎每一案例,那些人在聽到實話後,　臨死之前的反應都是平和地接受. 同時Matthew也觀察理出三種模式來面對死亡) 

1.          Regardless of religious belief or cultural background, there's a need for forgiveness or simply say they have a regret.  Once he cared for an elderly gentleman who was having a massive heart attack.  He looked at Matthew’s eye and said, "I wish I had spent more time with my children and grandchildren instead of being selfish with my time."  A big shock to me that facing his imminent death, all he wanted was forgiveness. (不管是宗教信仰或不同文化背景, 臨死時都要求被寬恕, 或簡單的說, 遺憾悔恨！他舉一個例子, 一個長者因嚴重的心臟病發作, 在死亡前幾分鐘告訴Matthew他很後悔自己的自私沒有花時間在兒女及孫子身上. 這另Matthew很驚訝,面臨生命結束時, 他只想要被寬恕！)

2.        The 2^nd pattern is the need for remembrance.  Whether it was to be remembered in his thoughts or their loved ones', they needed to feel that they would be living on. There's a need for immortality within the hearts and thoughts of their loved ones, or anyone around. （第二種是被記得的需要, 不管是言論思想被記住或被他心愛的人記的, 他們希望自己是不朽的, 能被世人或心愛的家人常記心頭）

3.        The 3^rd one touched him the deepest ! The dying need to know their life had meaning.  One of his call, there was a female in her late 50s severely hurt and in a critical condition.  she said to him that she was a mother of two adopted children who were both on their way to medical school. Because of her, two kids had a chance they never would have had otherwise and would go on to save lives in the medical field as medical doctors…….as her last words（第三種最叫他感動, 瀕死的人最想確定他們的人生有意義沒白走一遭, 他舉了個例子, 一位快六十歲的婦女在車禍中即將喪命, 她臨死前的最後幾句話是告訴Matthew她領養兩個小孩, 因為她的關係, 兩個孩子得以有機會發展學習, 現在是醫學院學生, 日後可當醫生救人, 她的人生有意義……）

 

Through his career experiences, he finally realize that regardless of the circumstance, it's generally seen with peace and acceptance and that is the littlest things YOU brought into the world that give YOU peace in those final moments. (經過這麼多年, 他終於了解不論任何情況下, 人臨死前［是否能平靜祥和的離開)　端取決於我們如何對社會一點一滴所作的付出）